Empty Arms

I belong to a number of on-line forums, many of them involve all members but there is one that is for birth moms only. Some days I cherish this site. I don’t have to look at all the bullshit of others “She is being ripped from my arms” “Birthmom changed her mind” “Birthmom dropped from site” Sorry

Get the hell over it. TPR not signed: she isn’t yours. We can and do change our minds, we do disappear inorder to take care of oneself. So you know what? Deal with it. Suck it up. Get over it. Love those words, it is what we birthmoms are told. Deal with it. Suck it up. Get over it. Hate to tell ya — it doesn’t happen.

But any way. I belong to a forum that is just for birthmoms. Some days I live for this site. To touch base with my friends. Many of whom I consider family, we are sisters. We are friends. We are survivors. One of my sisters started a topic “Needing something to love”. It made me realize or think about Supergirl more then I have this week. (no I have not one word from them at all the whole week).

My arms ache to hold her.

My hands ache to touch her.

My eyes look for her where ever I go.

A friend of mine has a 14 month old. I wrote about her and baby R and the thing is.  I love this little boy.  It is almost like we are 2 hurt souls and we know this and so we reach each other.  I was up at her place last weekend and he was almost mobile, so C and I were sitting across from each other and we would throw a toy back and forth and have R walk to the other to get it.  When he would come back to me he would run into my arms and just rest his head on my shoulder. I kissed his cheek and he then turned his head and gave me a kiss.  C said that he has yet to give her a kiss.  I got 3 that night.

Earlier this week, I met up with C and R and as soon as she parked the car and opened his door he wanted me. He wouldn’t go go her. He wanted me to carry him to the store and put him in a carriage.  Again I got a kiss as we left.

Is it possible for hurt souls to find others and bond?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. reunionwritings
    Jul 21, 2007 @ 12:40:15

    Hi! I added you to my links, there’s a big list of mothers like us on my blog.

  2. coleybelle
    Jul 27, 2007 @ 08:10:04

    Aw, sis, I love ya!

  3. Coco
    Aug 09, 2007 @ 21:09:47

    Just sending you some hugs, sister.

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