I am ill. Physically and mentally ill. I have been sick for most of the week. Wonderful cough is back with power this time around. Sleep is next to nonexistent. Pain is a 24/7 thing. To breathe, to cough, to sneeze, to eat. It is on the move to my chest and my ear.

I am ill from not hearing anything. Since I am sick I was/am thinking about sending or calling E and ask her to call L and tell her that she doesn’t need to be afraid of getting together with me at this time because I am sick. Maybe then she can find out just what in the heck is going on.

I am trying to keep busy. I cancelled E because I felt awful on Friday. I still did when I woke up yesterday but a friend called and said that she wanted to spend money. I told her that while I had no money to spend I would join her. We haven’t done anything together for awhile. It has been a good number of months between the last time T and I did anything. It was nice. I met her up at her house and we went North. We walked the shops, she bought lots of stuff. I bought a few things.

My mind has moved to Christmas. To wonder what I will get Supergirl for Christmas. What does she like know?

What doesn’t she like?

What size does she wear?

Am I really that much of a nasty person to want to be in her life? to answer her questions. Not the questions that L&B ask me.

I don’t know.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. thanksgivingmom
    Oct 19, 2007 @ 19:17:30

    There are hundreds of things I don’t know, especially when it comes to adoption. But there are a few things I AM sure of, and one of them is that you are NOT in any way a nasty person. You are wonderful and kind and welcoming and a great listener and a good friend that will get excited for others news even when things aren’t going great for you.

    So don’t EVER think this has anything to do with you as a person, because you ROCK. Completely and totally.

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