The year

The year is almost over.  One holiday down, two to go.  I thought alot about Supergirl and wondering if I was going to see her this year.  It hurts that it has been almost a year.  I look at the calender and now instead of seeing a countdown for a visit, I am seeing a countdown for when I have to mail out her presents.  I look to see when everything needs to be wrapped, boxed and sent impersonally through the US postal system.

I picked out a piece of jewelry yesterday that I will not wear but will put away for Supergirl.  It will be her sweet 16 gift from me to her.  I hate that I have to think that far into the future while she is 3 but I feel as if I have to.


I went on myspace the other day and my exB has a myspace page and went on and checked out one of his sisters pages.  She is pregnant.  Out of his 3 sisters this is the 2nd one who is/was pregnant.  One of his younger sisters lost custody of her son for a number of months and finally got him back and he is 1 year younger then Supergirl.   I wrote it in her journal.  On many levels I am glad that she isn’t involved with that family, or side of her family.  Just looking back there was never any stability.  There are 4 kids and none of them are married.  B is at his girlfriends house (I think) and his son is with his mother and sisters.

Some days it makes me happier then anything that she doesn’t have to deal with that or them.