Attachment

Do we as first mothers attach to our child while we are pregnant?

I think in a way we do. Do all of us? Ofcourse not. It is like telling everyone that the sky is purple. You know that there will be those that agree with you and then there will be others who won’t.

Is it a bad thing? Heck no. I think, in a way, it is a way to protect ourself. We have to have sort of protection or I think we would go mad with grief.

For me, personally. I tried not to attach myself to Supergirl. Boy, did I. I tried to tell myself that I was not pregnant. You couldn’t tell me that I was. I fought about it. I denied it. I even ……. that is for Supergirl. Then I was told that I was a high risk pregnancy. What did that mean? I probably would not carry to term. I would probably have to go on bed rest. I would have to go in for a non-stress test. Every week.

I tried not to attach but then I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and she moved. She didn’t want us to bother her. So here I am, laying in a hospital bed with a nurse chasing her around with the monitor so that we could get her heartbeat. All I could do was laugh. That was when I knew I was attached to her.

I would get her to settle down at 2am in the morning when I was trying to go to sleep. I was able to wake her up when it was time to go for those stupid stress test.  She would settle down if B and I were singing.  She was quiet.

Come to find out she still loves music and will move.  I told L that she did that ALOT.  Have I told L everything? Nope.  Will I? Probably not.  That stuff is for Supergirl to ask me and not for me to tell L and then pass it on to her.

So do we attach?  In many ways we do but it is not a bad or evil thing if we do not.  It is called surviving.  We need to do what we do in order to survive and to keep or sanity.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. coleybelle
    Jan 20, 2008 @ 11:39:22

    I tried not to attach too. Once I met S and A and had chosen them as parents, I would refer to Charlie as “A’s baby.” I thought if I did that then I wouldn’t attach and it wouldn’t hurt so much when the time for him to go to his home and me to go to mine. In theory, it was a great idea – in reality, it didn’t work.

  2. imtina
    Jan 20, 2008 @ 19:29:22

    I think babies and mothers are attached very deeply. For me to say otherwise would be disrespecting my daughter and her first mother. Adoption loss is painful.

    Tina

  3. Bear's Mommy
    Jan 25, 2008 @ 00:32:33

    I attached instantly because I thought I was going to keep my twins. I think that made it easier and harder for me in the end because I tried to make a decision for them out of love, not my own personal feelings about the situation.

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