Hi, my name is L

Sometimes I feel like walking into a room and just start saying:

Hi, my name is L, I am addicted to scrapbooking, reading, watching movies, being with friends, being alone.  I am also a Firstmom.

What do you think I would get a response to?

I can tell you, it probably won’t be a response to me being a first mom.   That is the elephant in the room that noone talks about.  Noone brings up because it might “upset” me.

It came up last night.

We had 2 people start training last night.  One looks like Paula Dean.  If you don’t know who she is go to FoodNetwork.com and type in her name.  She is very funny.  So is this woman.  We were sitting in the kitchen having dinner when she asked those of us at the table if we had kids.

I could have said yes.

I chickened out and said no.  I have none. 😦  I felt bad about it.  I felt that I hide Supergirl and protect who she is.  I couldn’t let this woman, this new woman know my secret yet.  I couldn’t let myself say “I have a daughter who will be 4 shortly.” 

My body wouldn’t let me.  My brain just spoke for me.

I am sorry Supergirl.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. reunionwritings
    Feb 25, 2008 @ 23:02:26

    I hate that question, I used to really hate it. Now I can say yes I have a daughter and then the look comes out when they realize we live in different countries. They say “you must miss her” ……

    You don’t have to always say you have a child.

    I NEVER answered that question with a no, I avoided it or looked at them and said “I don’t want to answer that question”

    Sorry this comment is all about me, I was trying to make you not feel alone in all this.

  2. lhjh4
    Feb 26, 2008 @ 04:10:08

    you didn’t make me feel alone. sometimes I answer that I have 4 (I include my neice and nephews) just last night I just couldn’t say anything but no.

  3. thanksgivingmom
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 19:54:03

    I have to wonder….if we HAD to say that we had children and had placed them for adoption, how many other people would we find that had that as a common bond?

    Not more than the people that say ignorant stuff, which is why I don’t do it, for sure! BUT, don’t you wish sometimes there was some secret code, or like handshake, or look that only other firstmoms would get?

    Ugh. But I know. I was writing a whole blog post about a training I had at work. Everyone was supposed to show something that was really important to them. Well just about EVERYONE showed a picture of thier kids. I felt like such a lying sack of shit for not doing the same. Ugh.

    Hugs as always.

  4. Coco
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 01:20:03

    L,

    I’ve been through this more times than I care to count.

    It’s tough to discern who’s going to be accepting and kind and who’s going to freeze up on you. It’s even harder to know who’s going to placate you up front and then stab you in the back with the knowledge.

    Try not to beat yourself up. We’re still exploring the frontier in many ways with stuff like this.

    Hugs.

  5. zxczxcasdasd
    Mar 01, 2008 @ 06:53:13

    (((hugs)))

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