Well, this was another busy week.  Trying to get through a slow week at work and finding out that a few people during the week had been fired (well the email said Laid off).  Having a migraine for most of the week and not getting any sleep.

Then on Thursday I drove and met up with E for the panel for pap’s.  There was another firstmom besides myself, an adoptive couple and an adoptee who has adopted.  Then in the audience were 5 couples in different stages of their journey.

Most of them were very nice.  I say this because there was one woman who added to my headache because she WOULDN’T shut up.  She was an adoptee and she had an opinion on everything that was discussed.  I didn’t mention Supergirl’s name and told the short story on how Supergirl got her name.  Her question to me “What is her name?”  I don’t have to tell you and I won’t tell you.

“Why are you doing mediation?” Because I want some answers.

“When we adopt I am going to make a scrapbook and send it to birthmom”

The gentleman next to me who was adopted, was adopted in Mass. and has lived in Mass. his whole life.  He also didn’t find out he was adopted until he was 36.  I think that is so wrong on so many levels.  No one should have to live their life as a lie.

Once it was done I was out of there.  I couldn’t handle being around that woman any more.  The adoptive couple just wanted to talk and talk and talk.  I looked at E when it was over and told her that I hope the weather holds out and if not I wouldn’t see her on Saturday.  She ended up cancelling on me Friday because of the weather and I have to cancel on her for this coming Saturday but one of these days I will make it in and see her.


Yeap that is me.


Still waiting for a phone call.

Speaking in a week.

Met up with a great friend and talked and talked and sampled and sampled and laughed and talked.

Get the picture?  good because we didn’t.  For the 2nd year in a row, not a picture to be taken.

Oh well, there is always next year, right?

Catching up

It isn’t like I have been avoiding the blog.  I just haven’t wanted to write.

Then a bunch of stuff happened in one day.

L agreed to the mediation!!!  I am completely freaked by this!!!  E asked if I had heard from C, 3rd party, this past week.  No I haven’t.  Which means that I will be getting the call.  This scares the living daylights out of me.  I am freaked that L agreed to this.  I am freaked that E said she was positive about this.

Now I want to know what she will say.


Then E asked me if I wanted to speak again?  Yes!!!  Then she tells me that it will happen this month!!!  What!?!?!  I have spoken before.  Except that time it was only me and another firstmom.  E is hoping that this time there will be me, the other firstmom, an adoptee/adoptive parent and an adoptive parent.  Less pressure on me.

Maybe I will remember this time not to hide what has really happened.

Maybe this time I will be able to say what sucks.

Maybe this time I will be able to say what happened.


Then completely unrelated to it all.

I went out with my friend C, last night.  Biker Boy is now the head of security at the bar which we hang out at which was recently sold and now under new ownership.  Not a problem, really.  Except when he comes up to me and puts his arms around me.

Then he tells me that a guy who is interested in my friend, C, is flirting with me.  Ummmmm, no.  Why are you jealous?

Then I got up to sing.  The owner came up to me afterwards and told me that she wanted me in the karoake contest that starts —  TONIGHT!!!

ack!!  but after 10 weeks there is the prize of $500.00!!!