Top 10 songs are close to it

My SIL went and challenged all of her friends on Myspace for their top 10 songs.  Well, a few weeks later I have somewhere close to that and will post them here and send her over.

*these are in no order

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

I’m a Bitch, I”m a lover, I”m a child, I’m a mother, I’m a sinner, I’m a saint.  I do not feel ashamed.

Pretty much says it all

Straightjacket by Alanis Morissette

Something so benign from me, construed as cruelty

Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect

I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fucking disrespect

One day I’ll introduce myself and you’ll see you’ve not yet met me.

I feel like sending this to Biker Boy and Supergirl’s parents.  I don’t know what it is about this song but I loved it the first time I heard it and it is still a favorite!  but there are many days when I feel that people don’t see me but they think that they know me.

Your Eyes from Rent

I can’t control

My destiny

I trust my soul

My only goal

Is just to be

No Day but Today

no other words needed IMO

Incomplete by Alannis Morissette

One day I will be healed, I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

One day I will be faith filled.  I’ll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home.

I lost my trust 4 years ago, I am hoping one day that I will have it again.  I am hoping that one day I will be complete since I have been incomplete for 4 1/2 years.

Not Ready to Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt

There’s nothing left for me to figure out

I’ve paid a price

And  I’ll keep paying

People told me that I would forget the pain.  Haven’t.  they said that I would forgive those that hurt me.  Haven’t.

I knew it was coming

I wasn’t going to blog about the election.  I know who I am voting for.  That has been a no brainer for awhile now but I was kind of wondering where my landlady would lean.

Why? we don’t look at it the same.  During the last Governor’s Election I knew I was going to vote for now Gov. Patrick.  Then the sign went up in the front yard.  My landlady was voting for the other person.  I cannot remember her name but I do remember how she, like the then current Governor Romney, didn’t like to be in the state and was spending most of her time building her new home in Vermont.

So I got in my car yesterday to do some errands.  Pull out and almost get into an accident.  Why?   There it was: McCain/Palin.  I got home and called a good friend because I knew how she would have reacted because we talked about this when she was on vacation.

 

These 2 people scare the shit out of me.  They scare my 82 y/o Grandmother as well.  She is so afraid that these 2 are going to win that she has all ready talked to her doctors about seeing which ones she can stop going to because McCain wants to cut Medicare/caid benefits!!!!!!!  WTF!!!!!  The man should start living in the real world and find out just how much Medicare doesn’t pay now.  Why else are many senior citizens carrying multiple insurance carriers?  Hell, my grandmother has 3. 3 for an 82 y/o female.  All because all ready Medicare has cut their payments.  I see it at work with the work that I do.

These 2 people do not have the right to tell me what to do with my body.  They do not have the right to tell me that they will give me $5,000 for health care but turn around and tax me on it.  I mean really.

Here

I am around.

Just in a melancholy mood and don’t know how to pull myself out of it.  I do have a few posts started on paper in my bag, at home in my journal.  They are there.

I am around.

Just changed my number and wonder if I want to give it out but all ready did.

What?

Okay I was out to lunch with my Grams yesterday. Not a big deal. We had the theatre and we usually will go to Bertucci’s or China Jade for dinner. Yesterday was Bertucci’s turn which means China Jade is next month (yummmie).

So we ordered our dinner and were enjoying the rolls with dipping oil and Grams just says “Auntie and I think it is a good idea to tell the family about Super.”

Bread stuck in throat.

“Who?”

“Super”

“Um, don’t you mean Lanky?”

“Yes, that is who I meant.”

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Grams, nor anyone else in the family know about Supergirl. Well, at least the family that we will see at Thanksgiving this year. Since Grandfather passed away and Little Bro and family have moved, it has been me, Grams, Auntie and Cousin. This year it will be: Grams, Auntie, Cousin, Great Aunt and Uncle, 3 second Cousins and adopted cousin, who I last saw shortly after Second Cousin adopted her from China, so we are talking a good 10 years.

This could have been a good time to tell Grams about Supergirl.

Why?

Grams wants to send Lanky a birthday card with a dollar in it. She does it to all the great grand kids. This coming birthday there will be 18$ in it since Lanky will be 18. Grams wants to talk to SIL and pass it by her and she what she thinks.

But I just sat there and by this time our dinner had arrived and I just put a fork full of pasta and chicken in my mouth and chewed. Then changed the subject.

Another chance and another opportunity lost.

Sorry Supergirl. Once again I let you down.

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Edited to add: I saw E yesterday.  She wonders if Grams knows on some level about Supergirl if she is the one who brought up her name out of the blue?

I honestly don’t know.

I am afraid to know.