Typical Open Adoption

A typical open adoption means that the biological parents
are permitted to have some type of contact with the adopted

This can be accomplished many different ways. By phone is
the easiest way but sometimes e-mail, letters, or even
personal visits might be an option.

This contact doesn’t always mean both sets of parents will
ever meet each other in person. Many times the adoption
agency or other organization will receive pictures and
updates from the adoptive parents and forward them to the
biological parents.

Obviously, having the adoptive parents spend time with the
biological parents might be an uncomfortable ordeal for

Before the adoption takes place, all types of contact as
well as specific dates for visits or phone calls are

This schedule and set of rules is very important to the
biological parents who have agreed to the open adoption. By
not getting pictures when expected or missing phone calls,
it can be very emotionally stressful.

By using the adoption agency as a middle man, it saves a
lot of emotional stress for everyone involved. The agency
acts as a mediator so the adoptive parents don’t have to
deal with the biological parents directly

It is much easier for adoptive parents to really feel the
child is there own if there is minimal interference from
the biological parents
but sometimes it just isn’t an


*bold are mine to make a point.

I came across this little gem and was this close to yelling at my computer.


So this person believes that I am an interference in MY daughters life?

Sorry to tell you that that ANY action done by the agency means a SEMI open adoption.  If it was a true open adoption, they would have last names, phone numbers and addresses while you would have last name, phone number and address.  NO MIDDLE MAN NEEDED!!


A typical open adoption:

  • no middle man
  • all information is exchanged from both sides
  • there are visits, phone calls, letters, photos
  • you do not view the first parent as an interference
  • spend time with the expectant mother if you are matched beforehand, this may actually help everyone involved

While I was pregnant….

I was an expectant mother.  I was NEVER  a Birthmother.

How do you like those damn apples.

A dear friend wrote a great blog about an article and every one who decided to rub salt in the wound about the word Birthmother.

Here is the deal:

A birthmother is a women who has — wait for it —  GIVEN BIRTH!!!!  How in the hell am I to be a Birthmother while I am 7,8 or 9 months pregnant!?!?!?!  I can’t!!!

I was a MOTHER, I know very scary to some people, before I signed the TPR.  So, again, I was not a Birthmother.  I was MOTHER!!!!

Some of these “adults” really need to learn the language before they start to speak it.


*this is my vent for the day*

This time of Year

I don’t like this time of year.

While I like that the weather is getting warmer and the day lasts a little longer.  My heat isn’t kicking on as much.

I hate the next 6 weeks.

In the course of the next 6 weeks my daughter will turn 5.

My grandfather will be gone for 4 years.

My last visit would have been a year ago.

The day that I forever changed my life will come.

The day that I held Supergirl for the first time will come and go.

The day that Biker Boy and I met the aparents.

Can I crawl under the covers now and wake up on May 1st?


I have been quiet again.  Not that I have been meaning to.  However, things at work are weird and I like my job so I will stay away from the internet while at work.

I do have some things posted.

A fun little thing.

An evil thing that I did.  well, not evil I was informed by others whom I asked their opinions.

Dealing with life.  Some days that is just the hardest thing to do and takes all of my energy.

so more later.