I hate this date.

Today is the 28th.

On this day last year my life changed again, forever, for the 2nd or 3rd time in the course of 4 years.
On this date I had a phone call with amom, I cannot even use her name right now. On this phone call, which was on a Friday, a day of thunderstorms, a day in which I had finished my lunch of Taco Bell. A day in which I was, once again, waiting for a response to a note that I had sent to her to set up a visit.
Not within 3 minutes of the phone call, I was told that there would be no more visits.
I was asked if I noticed how Supergirl was acting different, off.
I was then told for the next 20 or so minutes about every thing else in Supergirl’s life.
Her likes, her dislikes.
Honestly, all I ever wanted to do was to go into the bathroom and get rid of the lunch that I had finished with the past 2 hours.
I was in tears for the NIGHT!!! not just for bits and pieces but for the NIGHT!!!

Now here is ….. 1 year later.
I haven’t seen Supergirl since April 28th, 2008.
Yes I am keeping count.

*edited to add

How did I even forget the actually date this all happened on?  Is it a coping strategy for me?

I remember it was a Friday.  Which means the phone call was on the 25th.  Really it doesn’t matter — I was in enough pain that day and the day before.  I was not able to play with Goober like I usually do.

How could I forget another day that would forever alter my universe? My being? My security? My sanity?

How????

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thanksgivingmom
    Jul 28, 2009 @ 17:41:31

    I know that hugs are so…..not enough, but know that I’m sending you the most comforting hugs I can – when there is NOTHING that can comfort what you’ve dealt with.

    PLEASE call if you need to.

    Please.

  2. lhjh4
    Jul 29, 2009 @ 05:23:10

    thank you hon.

  3. aggie
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 08:27:42

    Hugs to you. I haven’t had a response from my bdaughter (over 18) to my letters for almost two years…adoption sucks.

  4. lhjh4
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 14:57:55

    (((HUGS))) aggie and yes, a majority of the time adoption does suck.

  5. Coco
    Aug 03, 2009 @ 21:22:43

    I’m so sorry, L.

    Thinking of you.

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