10 things part 3

I cannot believe that I am writing another one.

  1. You are close to 59 years old!!!  and yet you use a third person, your son, to get something from your ex wife?!?!?!!?  Somehow I am not surprised by this but the fact that you used your son to do this is a new low, even for you.
  2. You talk to me when I am going thru this ordeal and your comment on it.  ” I want to give you what you want.”  You want me to have a child for you.  You want me to be a single parent in the hopes that you will be able to give us money, when you can.
  3. You tell me that, basically, you want to put a blanket over the whole situation and tell Supergirl, years down the road and tell her: “Here is your sibling”
  4. Once you tell me this, and may I add, that I was not able to sleep.  That I was at a point a few years ago, that if you had brought this up then, I would have said yes.
  5. I have decided on a date to call.  I feel like shit that I have to do this.  I hate, with a passion, that she cannot be a human being and make the call herself.

Ok, I feel better.  Yes it wasn’t 10 but then it doesn’t have to be.

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Top 10 songs are close to it

My SIL went and challenged all of her friends on Myspace for their top 10 songs.  Well, a few weeks later I have somewhere close to that and will post them here and send her over.

*these are in no order

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

I’m a Bitch, I”m a lover, I”m a child, I’m a mother, I’m a sinner, I’m a saint.  I do not feel ashamed.

Pretty much says it all

Straightjacket by Alanis Morissette

Something so benign from me, construed as cruelty

Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect

I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fucking disrespect

One day I’ll introduce myself and you’ll see you’ve not yet met me.

I feel like sending this to Biker Boy and Supergirl’s parents.  I don’t know what it is about this song but I loved it the first time I heard it and it is still a favorite!  but there are many days when I feel that people don’t see me but they think that they know me.

Your Eyes from Rent

I can’t control

My destiny

I trust my soul

My only goal

Is just to be

No Day but Today

no other words needed IMO

Incomplete by Alannis Morissette

One day I will be healed, I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

One day I will be faith filled.  I’ll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home.

I lost my trust 4 years ago, I am hoping one day that I will have it again.  I am hoping that one day I will be complete since I have been incomplete for 4 1/2 years.

Not Ready to Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt

There’s nothing left for me to figure out

I’ve paid a price

And  I’ll keep paying

People told me that I would forget the pain.  Haven’t.  they said that I would forgive those that hurt me.  Haven’t.

10 things part 2

Yes, I feel the need to do this again.

In case you didn’t read the first one.  You write down 10 things without mentioning the person’s name.  It works. I felt better after the last one.

1) WTF you complete idiot.  You have no relationship with Supergirl but you ask me if I went through this hell again and am allowing a friend to raise a child of mine!!!  You are not even worth me responding.  However, I still let you know when I get pictures.  How stupid does that make me?

2) I wish I could go home with you.  I know that this week will not be easy.  I was happy to know that you cried with your friends during the wake.  This way I know that you are not holding it all in.  You know I will be here for you when you get back.  We will talk.  We won’t talk.  We will just be.  And all of us will help you.

3) Are you trying to drive me insane!!! I really don’t know what to say to you anymore so I don’t.  Are you guilty about something??  Something weighing on your mind and you don’t want to feel guilty so you are doing what you are doing?  Believe me, I love getting them.  But you are screwing with my mind and I don’t know how much more I can handle from you.

4) Are you upset with the fact that Supergirl is looking more and more like me?  I hope you are because I am loving it.  I love looking at her  and seeing me and knowing that there will be none of you.

5) I am happy that Supergirl doesn’t look like you anymore.  I am glad that I don’t have to look at her pictures and see you.  I am glad that I can look at her pictures and not really notice you there.

6) Stop your flipping whining.  I really don’t care if you feel you are getting bullied.  Or that you feel that way.  If you did your work and didn’t sit around and talk maybe you wouldn’t feel that way.  You are the reason I cannot go home early if boss is not there.

7) It is about time you have a job.  but did you have to get one at the one place that I happen to enjoy going to?  Does it have to be the one place where I can go and not worry about you walking in the door?  You know you are a little too tall to try and spy on me in the parking lot.  I saw the looks I got when I went to give some guy friends a hug. 

8) I cannot wait to see you again!!  I need a girls day where we can talk about our beautiful girls and laugh and cry and just relax and not have to put on the “faces” to get through a day.

 

Okay, so there are only 8.  that leaves me with 2 to throw in wherever, whenever, I want.