Rose colored glasses

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and live my life with rose colored glasses.

You know the ones.  The ones where no-one gets hurt.  Noone is in pain.  Those glasses.

I know now adays I don’t.  I was out to lunch today with Grams, nothing different about the Sunday routine, with the exception of the Sox and the Pats playing and winning in the background.  While we were being brought to our table we were able to glance in the function room and see that Newburyport High School c/o 1954 was having their 55th high school reunion.  The function room was in the back of the restaurant so that if you were going to the reunion you had to walk through the restaurant.

While everyone was walking by I wasn’t thinking:

What would it be like to meet up with friends after 50 years and see how everyone is doing?

Nope, mine was: I wonder if there are any first moms going to that reunion and if they are will they or have they told others?  And if there are any first mothers there are they in reunion with their grown child? Was it a good reunion? bad? neither?

Why am I thinking these thoughts?

My 20th high school reunion is coming up next month. Here is the thing, the is the high school that I went to my senior year only.  I didn’t make that many friends because 1) I was military 2) I was also engaged.  Plus I started about 6 weeks in during the senior year.  I spent my freshman to junior year at one high school and had to move after senior year started.

So while I decide if I wish to go, and I must make up my mind soon, I then know I will be hit with the questions that I don’t know how to answer.

Do I tell these people who didn’t want to be my friend then that I have a beautiful, smart, and funny daughter?  Do I tell them while I do have a daughter I placed her for adoption and am now regretting my decision everyday because I don’t like how the aparents were able to lie and win me over and then do a 180?

Do I do what I do and not anwer and quickly ask another question?

I need some help with this.

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Family

I spent Thanksgiving with my father’s relatives.  They are mine as well.  It was interesting.  My great Uncle who is pretty much deaf, even with his hearing aids, was asking about Father.  I told him that I don’t hear from him and I liked it like that.  He then ask Grams.  I don’t know what she told him since I was onto another conversation.

So, who was at this get together?

Well, Grams, Aunt, Cousin, 3 2nd cousins, 1 3rd cousin, Great Aunt and Uncle, partner and family friend.  I think if I added everyone there were 12 of us.

It was a great dinner.  Then afterwards we had birthday cake to celebrate 2 of my 2nd cousins birthdays!!  So including fruit, pie, cookies, torta, there was birthday cake.

We then sat around and started to play some games.  Well, with this family we sing.  Most of do atleast.  We started to play SongBurst 50’s & 60’s edition.  It was fun!!  Especially watching my 15 y/o cousins’ face looking at his mother, my Aunt, burst into song.  I say it about time.  I was broken in about the same age.  My brother was a few years younger but quickly adapted and sang along.

It was a nice 2 days.  I haven’t seen 1 2nd cousin since the family reunion, about 22 years ago.  The other 2nd cousins, probably about 7 years when my cousin J came back from China with her daughter C.

It did however make me think alot of Supergirl over the weekend and it still has me thinking.

How is she?

What would she like for Christmas?

I miss her.  Some times the holidays just make it worst.

No more secrets

Well, at least for my brother and sister-in-law.  Their “secret” has enjoyed time with them.  Has pictures with them and asked them questions.  This “secret” is 17 1/2 years old and is beautiful.  I may be biased as an Aunt but then again I don’t care.

I want to send her a message.  But at the same time I don’t want to overwhelm her.  Less then 2 weeks ago she just met her father, mother and 3 birth siblings.  I want to know her.  I don’t want to know her through my brother or my sister-in-law.  I will, however, wait.  I will give her time to get to know her family and to recover from meeting them.

When I talked to my brother I told him I wanted to know the how’s and the when’s.  Come to find out that my nephew, eldest nephew, found E on myspace.  She called her mom to come home from work and her mom had some questions for K, just to verify who she was and then everyone starting shouting.

All of this happened within 12 weeks.

From the time of that first message on myspace to the first face to face there was only 10 weeks.