What?

Okay I was out to lunch with my Grams yesterday. Not a big deal. We had the theatre and we usually will go to Bertucci’s or China Jade for dinner. Yesterday was Bertucci’s turn which means China Jade is next month (yummmie).

So we ordered our dinner and were enjoying the rolls with dipping oil and Grams just says “Auntie and I think it is a good idea to tell the family about Super.”

Bread stuck in throat.

“Who?”

“Super”

“Um, don’t you mean Lanky?”

“Yes, that is who I meant.”

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Grams, nor anyone else in the family know about Supergirl. Well, at least the family that we will see at Thanksgiving this year. Since Grandfather passed away and Little Bro and family have moved, it has been me, Grams, Auntie and Cousin. This year it will be: Grams, Auntie, Cousin, Great Aunt and Uncle, 3 second Cousins and adopted cousin, who I last saw shortly after Second Cousin adopted her from China, so we are talking a good 10 years.

This could have been a good time to tell Grams about Supergirl.

Why?

Grams wants to send Lanky a birthday card with a dollar in it. She does it to all the great grand kids. This coming birthday there will be 18$ in it since Lanky will be 18. Grams wants to talk to SIL and pass it by her and she what she thinks.

But I just sat there and by this time our dinner had arrived and I just put a fork full of pasta and chicken in my mouth and chewed. Then changed the subject.

Another chance and another opportunity lost.

Sorry Supergirl. Once again I let you down.

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Edited to add: I saw E yesterday.  She wonders if Grams knows on some level about Supergirl if she is the one who brought up her name out of the blue?

I honestly don’t know.

I am afraid to know.

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Festering

This has been sitting here for awhile and I figure, might as well get it out of my saved post and just get it out.

I came across a thread from one of the forums I belong to.  I got sick to my stomach.  I talked to a friend of mine who is also a firstmom and she had the same reaction.  I talked to a friend of mine who has no ties to adoption and only knows about my situation and she had the same reaction.  Here it is, weeks later, and I have the same feeling.

Foster mothers breast feeding their foster children?!?!?!?!?!?!  Yes you read correctly.  Foster mothers who are breast feeding their foster children.  These are not adoption situations, these are foster situations.  If it was  an adoption situation that makes for a different story all together but it isn’t.  This is a situation where you will not, in all likely hood, keep the children in which you are breast feeding.

All this is in the name of bonding.  gag.  For me to read this, this is the foster mothering wanting to do something that, in all reality, she should not be doing.  What happens to this kid if they are moved to another home where there is no breast feeding?

Then there was another thread that I couldn’t tell you what it was about but all I saw was an pap (prospective adoptive parent) write “our birthmother”.

Hate to tell you, but your expectant mother is not your birthmother.  In order for her to be that she would have had to been born before you and become pregnant, place you for adoption, then become frozen for a number of years in order for her to be thawed out and then go through this whole hell all over again.  I don’t see that happening.  I doubt it even happened.  This expectant mother, who has not given birth, will be the child’s birthmother if she goes through with the placement.

I wanted to scream at her!!!  Learn before you continue with this!!!!  Just from this one post I learned how much you don’t know and how much you need to learn.