Incomplete

Right now this is so me.

You gotta love Alanis Morissette

One day I’ll find relief
I’ll be arrived
And I’ll be friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I’ll be at peace
I’ll be enlightened and I’ll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I’ll know God
And I’ll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I’ll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I’ll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I’ll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

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RENT

What to do you think of when you hear these names:

Tracie Thoms of Cold Case

Jesse L. Martin of Law & Order

Taye Diggs of Private Practice

I think of them from RENT. Jesse and Taye were from the original Broadway production of RENT and they, along with many other of the old timers came back for the movie version. Tracie came in the movie version as Joann.

When I saw E, my therapist, the other day she asked what I was listening to. She knows that my mood reflects the music that I will listen to. I told her that I have been falling asleep with RENT playing in my CD player. She was excited. I told her that the show is closing and that I have never seen the show in New York and I should go down and see it. I would like to more than anything.

To sit in the audience and just soak in all the sights around me. How ever I can really only afford when it comes through Boston every year. Missed this year though. Must go next year.

Here is just a sample of what I am talking about with the lyrics.

Another Day

The heart may freeze or it can burn

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future

There is no past

I live the moment

As my last

There’s only yes

only tonight

We must let go

To know what’s right

No other course

No other way

No Day But Today

I can’t control

my destiny

I trust my soul

My only goal

is just to be.

There’s only now

There’s only here

Give into love

Or live in fear

No other path

No other way

No Day But Today

Seasons of Love

*I will shorten this a bit

525,600 minutes

Moments so dear

How do you measure

measure a year?

in daylights, in sunsets

in midnights, in cups of coffee

in inches, in miles

in laughter, in strife

Measure your life in love.

It is a shame that Jonathan Larson died before he saw this open on Broadway.

I remember flying up to Mass for a friends wedding in 1996. I was sitting in my Grandparents living-room watching the Tony Awards when the cast sang “Seasons of Love” I wanted to see the show then.

It was powerful then and it is powerful now.

A night out

I spent the night out with friends. The ones who showed up and were there I would go to and help in a phone call. So when they came out all because I said I needed a night out: it made it a great night. I had a few drinks, Malibu and coke, highly recommend 😉 not overly sweet and just tastes great!! LOL

Any how it got me thinking after I dropped off C at her place just how much music is tied to me as well. My mom was always singing. If there was a song on the radio that she liked she would start singing. I am the same way. One of my grandmothers is the same. But like I was saying………………….. How some songs/artists  just make me feel better.
Here are just a few:

The original Broadway recording of RENT.  There is nothing wrong with the movie but it does not have the depth that the original has.  I am a RENT head.  I can listen to the CD and tell you what the stage looks like.  I still cry at the same points.  I still just start to look around during one song because there is like, 20 voices going on at once.  I will be heart broken on June 1st when RENT closes on Broadway.  Thank heaven for tours 🙂 😉

Don’t ask me why but Alannis Morrisette is another.  I mean, just listen to the words of Ironic or You Oughta Know.  All though I was told this past weekend that I don’t sing them like I used to (sorry) I guess I don’t have the anger behind them but I can still nail them.

10,000 Maniacs/Natalie Merchant is another.  Because the Night is always good. Carnival is another.

Dixie Chicks has always been a favorite, even when everyone else seemed to have a problem with them.  Not Ready to Make Nice, Voice Inside My Head, Landslide.  I could go on where they are concerned.

When I am angry there are those bands that just make me feel good about my bad moods.  Nickleback, Disturbed, Korn, Sixx AM, Metallica, etc.

All though I did manage to have one of my coworkers look at me in a new light when she asked if she could borrow a few CD’s to listen to and she looked through them and asked “Are these really yours?”  yeap, I burned them all.  She told her husband and his response was “Okay, she is totally cool.”

I guess I am.

Music makes me who I am and I listen to almost all of it.

I sing some of it but like everything else: depends on my mood.

New Song

I listen to alot of music.

I was very angry awhile ago and then I heard this song

SIXX:A.M. LYRICS

“Life Is Beautiful”

You can’t quit until you try
You can’t live until you die
You can’t learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

You can’t breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you’re the joke
There’s nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don’t
I’ve done things that you won’t
There’s nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Alive…
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Why this song?

Why now?

I don’t know but the song is just: beautiful