I am pissed

There are no other words for it.

I am trying to understand.

I am really.

In the mean time I sit with tears in my eyes trying not to cry while I am at work.

I was hoping for a visit this month or next month.  I need a visit.  I need it like oxygen at the moment.  It has been 14 months since I have since the smile in person.  It now looks to be 2 more months.

I am so beyond pissed, upset, done, depressed it isn’t funny anymore. 

How much more am I expected to take?

How much more do I have to take?

How much do I wish I could get in touch with B right now?